Hello Ladies,
Today we are all about “Being his Own“. Many times women try to shape themselves to what they think a man would want or what they think is the ideal spec of the man, because they are in love with them. Some times this set up works and after 3 years of marriage and the display of the real character, the man finds out who he actually married: Divorce is inevitable.
Statistics has shown that marriages under false pretense or marriages based on deceptive attraction mostly leads to divorce. You do not have to pretend to make a man attracted to you. If he doesn’t love based on who you are, he would definitely leave based on who you are.
Marriage and a partner is always your choice. During the period of waiting for the one, there are things required of you. And you need the help of the holy spirit. It’s all about timing, because for everything has a season and time, you need to wait for your time. While waiting for your time, you need to acquire the basic skills to identify your time and be active.
Bad relationship spoils your self esteem and self worth. Most times, ladies feel that all their failed relationship is as a result of the bad karma following them. The truth is; you do not let yourself heal from the previous relationship and you end up taking the hurt and baggage from the previous relationship.
It’s okay to love a guy, it’s emotions and yearning for a partner, but it is not OK to date him and try to conform your self to his taste just because you want him to like you.
A man would like a woman who has discovered herself and knows her self worth.
A perfect example is Me being in love with a guy, he has very good prospect, ambitious, simple and a good listener, everything a girl would want (based on my life style), but that didn’t mean I had to conform myself to his specs. I even told him how I felt, thereby freeing myself of secret love knowing that he knows, so whatever may come, should.
But I didn’t go around trying to be the one for him. I just kept on being myself, improving and developing myself
Being in love with someone doesn’t make the person a do or die partner. This things spoils your self esteem. You have to connect your self esteem to someone who does not change (GOD).
I compiled a list of Red flags you should watch out for and things you should know about being his own.
Red flags
- Dreams: dreams are important and they define who you are. If the person you are called your own does not appreciate your vision or his vision cannot go along with yours, there is no need trying to be the one for that person because you are not.
- Anger: now this is a terrible situation. Anger, can be inevitable and shouldn’t be transferred into actions. In this case you should run.
- Selfishness: A man who can’t help you out, no matter how little, without ego being the fuel, is not worth your time. he is to be your father, brother, husband and friend, as you are to be his mother, sister, wife and friend.
Things you should know before tagging him as the one.
- Divorce: is not an option. It is a forever thing. It is I DO NOW AND ALWAYS
- Help: Always ready to help, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
- Forgiveness: Forgiveness is not a request, but a must do. you must learn to forgive him. Mathew 5
- Love of God: you must have the love of God in you and help him love God more without issues, ready to support his ministry and calling.
- Love of God: you must have the love of God in you and help him love God more without issues, ready to support his ministry and calling.
- Unity: i remember at the wedding of one of my friend and they where asked series of questions to know who likes who better, they agreed to say “both of us” for every question, no matter how ridiculous it was. they were unified and that is what i do means to say yes with him and say no with him. In the case of disagreement you can respectfully tell him your point of view and make him see what you see in the closet, not public.
- One vision: you must be ready to key into his vision without thinking and be committed to it.
- Be Open to talk and Patient to listen (communication): This is extremely important, you must be ready to be open about your feelings, desires, wants and so on. it’s no more about you along, because you have agreed to be one half of a whole.
- Boundaries (languages & actions) : this is important, there should be boundaries as regards languages and actions. you have to know what speech he doesn’t like and action he doesn’t like and you have to let him know how you feel about certain words and actions.
- Understanding: You have to understand the role of the man and role of the woman and not try to Demeaning his role or take over his role or force him to perform your roles (roles of a woman would be discussed in future posts).
Let work and prepare ourselves for the one the LORD has CHOSEN, not going about forcing ourselves to be someone else.