Tragic Note To Self, Part 1 (short Story)

Trying can be very heartbreaking, trying can be exhausting. I think I need a spiritual deliverance, everything I do is not just working well. No profit from anything, nothing is making sense. I produce and I sell, but the profits just disappear into thin air, like I am not managing it or anything, clients just pop in and pop out like it is nothing.
I was lost in thoughts, not realizing dupe at entered until I felt the tender rubbing of dupe’s palms on my back bring me back to the present.

What are you thinking about now Jumoke? Dupe’s asked with her brows squeezed together forming waves on her forehead with concern very visible in those wrinkles.
I really didn’t want to bother her, because I knew she had her own problems and it bothered me why I couldn’t remember what her problems where all I could think of were my own.
Nothing much jare, just creating that masterpiece in my mind. I smiled and looked up to her from where I was sitting, only I knew the smile didn’t reach my eyes and I knew she knew it was a lie, but she let It slide.
I brought dinner, she said while leaving my side to the centre table…
She was heaven-sent because if it were up to me, I would drink tea and retire to bed like that. I have developed a very bad eating habit due to hustling worry and thinking. It’s been a month since I had stepped out of my house, after that trip to the hospital, what was I in for self, malaria or something.
Anyway, it’s been work all the way, trying to create that masterpiece, that design that would set my name in stone in this fashion industry. Dupe arriving in time for dinner has always been the highlight of my day, she comes home with different meals each day, exploding my sensory and making me go to sleep with satisfying pleasures and contentment, perks of working with one of Nigerian’s top chef who studied in Paris, I think his name his chef fregz abi I am not sure.
We ate in silence, to each her own issues, and went to bed with a hug and a good night.

The next morning was the beginning of the confusion, I woke up and decided to step out and find inspiration for a design from life itself. So, I got up, showered and had my morning tea, I noticed dupe had gone out already, which was the life of working in the kitchen, first to get out and last to come in.
I locked the door and So, started down the stairs and three young ladies were just smiling at me, giggling and tapping themselves and I wondered if I had worn a mismatch or left my hair undone or something, which wasn’t because I doubled checked myself before leaving the house, my appearance was always very important. As I took another step down the stairs, one of them unburdened and rushed to me and said I was an inspiration and she said she adores my collection, she was a huge fan and hope to be me one day and asked me to sign her design book. Totally confused, I figured they might have mistaken me for somebody else. So, politely I broke their heart.

“I’m sorry miss, but you must be mistaking me for someone else, sorry” I smiled tucked my hair behind my ear and took another step down, and the other lady came close and said
“Pardon me, but are you not miss Jumoke Stewart Adeniji, of the brand JSA,” she said looking confused
But I was more confused than ever because yes, I just registered my company one month ago after the successful fashion show with the NSFDW and I was ready to hit my mark, which has led me to this point in search of inspiration. The problem was it hadn’t been made public yet as I wanted to release the collection with the brand launch and the only person who knew was my financial partner, speaking of Alice, I need to see her soon, we haven’t spoken for a month.
‘ma’am” the lady said her skin was fair and clean, she took good care of it as a model should, she was also slender and tall so I guessed she was a model.
Drawn back to reality “yes, yes, I am she”
And they all giggled like they caught me trying to get off hiding, so I just signed her book to avoid any further issue. I guess the NSFDW was giving me publicity I didn’t realize. That was a happy thought.
I got out of the building to the street, thanks to my family, I’m a student living in a serviced apartment, my home away from home, but my aim was not to live on them for long, get my life going and pay them back by being independent.

Every time I go out, I like walking along University road, passing by the street where I aim to have my design house, I already started processing the negotiations, but my financial partner was taking care of that, she is like a big sister and all she wants me to focus on was launching amazing designs.
I got close to the building and it wasn’t the uncompleted building I was used to seeing, it was completed alright with my brand name on it. Amazing designs were displayed by mannequins that could be seen through the glass, 5 of them, each had different outfit complementing each other flowing while telling a story, just as I had imagined displaying my products when I opened. I was shocked at what I was seeing, so I decided to step inside to understand what was going on.
I was greeted by store attendants, tall, beautiful and stylishly dressed.
“what would you be interested in today,” she asked with a patronizing smile on her face,
“I would like to speak to the owner please,” I said trying to sound confident rather confused which was how I felt.
Her smile was replaced with fear or concern whatever it was, she was alert and ready to settle my issues without it getting to boss, I guess not to lose her job.
“what seems to be the problem,” she said in fake confidence, mirroring mine”
“I would like to speak with your boss” I repeated failing to hide my anger, which was now growing
A slender woman came from the back, holding the finished product of the style I sketch or I found sketched on my sketch pad, I recognized her, it was Alice.